We are living in a very sexualised world. From sexy images plastered all over advertising to the increasing ease of access of internet pornography. It is in our faces, and as adults we are equipt and prepared to deal with it. But I'm not sure we're dealing all that well when it comes to sex with younger teenagers and even Children.
Working at a boarding school I am constantly overhearing conversations where boys as young as twelve are objectifying women, speaking of the woman or girl as a collection of private parts and not an active young mind.
As they get older it gets worse. It sickens me every time I hear a boy talk about a girl that he has sex with as if it was an acheivement, another notch on the belt if you will. The question I ask is at what point did society say it was ok for them to have this attitude.
I think the problem is though that it is very clear. Sex has always been a very sexist patriachal adventure. Going back to biblical times, it was the woman cheating on her husband that was to be condemned and not the husband cheating on his wife. Prostitution has predominantly been males paying for females. In fact, from my little knowledge of history it really seems that in terms of females that always on some level they have been there to serve males sexually.
But in the second half of the 20th century, women have earned themselves a voice, standing up to their male oppressors. Women were suddenly allowed to enjoy sex, and take ownership of their sexuality and their sexual experience. Womens magazines flooded the shelves talking of g-spots and multiple orgasms. But somehow still I don't think the male attitude has changed.
So I come back to the topic of this blog: Sex Education. From what I can remember of my schooling, sex education in PDHPE was pretty much a lesson on how does my junk work, how does her junk work and how do I stop my junk from impregnating her junk. Personally I don't believe this is enough.
Sex Education has to be about more than the physical understanding of intercourse. I believe that sex education needs to be about understanding people and their sexuality. Children should be learning to communicate their feelings with the opposite sex (or someone of the same sex, as the case may be). They should be learning from experts on the subject of sex and all the emotions that go with it. They should be hearing from couples who maintain an intimate and active sex life. They should be hearing from homosexual couples about their way of life. First and foremost, they should be having these discussions with boys, girls and parents in the room!
As I continue to blog, you will quickly learn that I believe people need to sit and discuss with an open mind a lot more than they currently do for us to fix anything, and I especially think this for sex education. We need to realise that if the kids don't learn this stuff properly, they are definitely going to learn it from somewhere, and probably before they are 12. We need to remove sex from the taboo column before our children learn about sex from a porn star.
this is great karl. I dont know if my school was special but we learned more about the emotional side of sex education (i think thats because a girl in year 12 got pregnant wen i was in year 8) and more about the things you are suggesting. but your right, in the Public system and alas in the Catholic system sex is something that has become taboo. Im going to push this over into my realm and say that sex education needs to also be supplied to people with disabilities, catering for their disability. People with intellectual disabilities need to learn basics, to the level they are capable while those with physical disabilities need to know about the services they can obtain and how they can explore their sexuality in a safe and supported environment.
ReplyDeleteThanks Karl, again you have given me food for thought.
Sam
I couldn't agree more. I remember the "Just say No" talk I got at school. No explanation to why you should be saying No or when it was okay to say Yes (probably never)
ReplyDeleteI think Sex Ed needs to be extended past the mechanics and actually promote understanding. This myth of "Men want sex all the time and Women who want it are all sluts" damages men and women by reducing them to one sided stereotypes and is one of a huge amount of myths that are being passed on to children generation after generation.